Do shows like “Love After Lockup” hurt lifers who try to get a pen pal? Most of us inside prison think so. Why? Because there are no lifers on the show. Because of this, people who watch it are overlooking a life-term prisoner. They may watch “Love After Lockup” and decide to try and find a short-timer who will come home and be their prince charming. Nothing wrong with that. But lifers need love and friendship too! And if given a chance, we might be a better pen pal.
Yes, this writer is a lifer. And in my book, Pen Pal Success, I show prisoners how to get pen pals. When I wrote that book, there was no “Love After Lockup” tv show on the air. So, I’m curious — what’s the free-world side of the debate? What does a lifer have to do to find a pen pal that lasts? Because that’s what most prisoners want — a pen pal friendship that lasts. There are lots of successful marriages that started out as just pen pals. And yes, some of them are between a lifer and a free-world pen pal! For instance, Billy Wayne Sinclair and Jodie Sinclair started out that way. They met while he was on death row, but he ended up getting that sentence commuted to life. Many years later he was paroled out so he could be with his wife. You can read their story in the books, A Life in the Balance and Love Behind Bars: The True Story of an American Prisoner’s Wife.
Many of the prison systems across America are finally realizing that the “lock them up and throw away the key” mentality does not work. So, they are passing laws that bring back the parole board and other programs that give lifers a chance. But long-term prisoners need more than just an out date. They need friendship from people in the free world. Why? Because prison is a shark-infested trap where you must struggle every day to survive physically and mentally. Having a quality pen pal friend allows a prisoner to escape the madness than surrounds them every day. And it gives them hope. Just think, you can be that beacon of hope. Please don’t overlook a lifer or long-term prisoner when choosing which prisoner to write. You might just change their life. And who knows, they might just change yours also.
