FAQs
Prison Pen Pal Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know about finding, writing to, and getting to know a prison pen pal — plus how PenPals.Buzz works.
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Getting Started With a Prison Pen Pal
What is a prison pen pal?
A prison pen pal is a person who is incarcerated in jail or prison, with whom you can exchange handwritten letters and/or electronic messages.
How does a prison pen pal relationship work?
Typically, someone from the free world visits PenPals.Buzz and searches for someone they would like to become pen pals with. You can search and filter profiles by age, religion, type of crime, location, and a number of other factors.
Once you've found someone you'd like to write, there are several ways to get started.
First, you can write a handwritten letter and send it through postal mail to the mailing address shown on the inmate's profile.
Second, you can send your first message for free through the "Send a message to this inmate" form on the inmate's profile. PenPals.Buzz will forward that message to the inmate at no cost to you.
Third, you can sign up for the inmate's electronic messaging service, if one is available. The service will be listed on the inmate's profile. Depending on the facility, services may include JPay, GettingOut, Securus, CorrLinks, SmartInmate, ConnectNetwork, and others. Electronic messaging is generally a paid service and usually costs a small fee per message.
Electronic messaging is often the fastest way to correspond with an incarcerated person, although messages can sometimes be delayed for facility review.
Why do people write to prisoners?
There are probably as many answers to this question as there are people who write prison pen pals.
For many people, it starts with curiosity about what it might be like to write to someone in prison. Others discover prison pen pals through television shows or popular culture.
Some people write during a difficult period in their own lives and find that having someone to correspond with can be comforting. Others simply enjoy having someone new to talk to — someone who will listen without judging.
And some people are interested in the fact that millions of men and women are incarcerated in the United States, many of whom have very little contact with people outside of prison. Writing a letter can be a simple way to provide friendship, conversation, and a connection to the outside world.
What is it like having a prison pen pal?
Everyone's experience is different.
Many people say it feels exciting when they see a letter in the mailbox from their new pen pal. Others find the experience educational because they're learning about someone they probably never would have met in the free world.
You may learn about how someone grew up, their life experiences, their interests, and sometimes the circumstances that led to their incarceration.
Others simply enjoy having someone who takes the time to listen and write back. In a world where so much communication happens through short texts, emojis and social media posts, there's something refreshing about sitting down and actually writing a letter.
For some people, there's even a nostalgic appeal to it — a chance to experience the old-fashioned letter-writing friendship that has become much less common.
And, yes, some people enjoy the element of doing something a little outside their normal routine.
What should I expect from my first prison pen pal?
Expect the unexpected.
Some correspondence becomes an occasional exchange of letters. Some develops into a long-term friendship. Every relationship is different.
One thing to expect is that correspondence can take longer than you're probably accustomed to. In today's world of texting and instant messaging, waiting 10, 20 or even 30 days for a letter can feel strange at first.
You should also expect that your pen pal may have very different life experiences from you. Their writing may sometimes be more raw or intense than you expected. That's part of getting to know another person, and it varies from person to person, just like any other friendship.
Is it safe to have a prison pen pal?
For the vast majority of our users, writing to a prison pen pal has been a safe, valuable and rewarding experience.
But you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable or fearful. Remember that you're communicating with someone you don't know personally, so the same basic caution you'd use with any new friendship applies here.
We recommend looking up your pen pal before giving out personal information. Many of our users prefer to use a PO Box or private mailbox, at least initially, rather than giving out their home address.
You can also filter potential pen pals by type of crime on PenPals.Buzz if there are certain offenses you don't feel comfortable corresponding with.
Take your time, use common sense, and don't feel pressured to share anything you're not comfortable sharing.
Finding a Prison Pen Pal
How do you find a prison pen pal?
PenPals.Buzz offers several ways to find a prison pen pal.
You can search and filter profiles based on things such as gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, location, age and type of crime. Some people don't want to write to someone convicted of a particular type of crime, while others specifically look for people serving life sentences or on death row.
Another popular way to search is through the hobbies and interests listed on our homepage. You can select interests such as traveling, camping, reading, tattoos or painting and see profiles of inmates who share those interests.
Finding someone with a shared hobby can be a great way to give yourself some common ground when you write your first letter.
Can I write to someone in a different state?
Absolutely. You can write to any inmate listed on our website, from all 50 states. We have free-world pen pals from across the United States. There are no restrictions on who you can write as long as you follow the rules of the facility where your pen pal is incarcerated. One thing to keep in mind is that physical mail will generally travel faster when you're geographically closer to the inmate.
Can I have more than one prison pen pal?
You can have as many prison pen pals as you feel able to write.
Everyone's number will be different, but if you're just starting out, we'd suggest beginning with no more than three. That gives you enough people to correspond with without becoming overwhelmed.
We also strongly recommend that you don't write to more than one inmate in the same facility. This can create unnecessary tension and drama. There are thousands of prison pen pals on our website, so there's no reason to intentionally write to multiple people in the same prison or jail.
We also discussed this topic in our podcast episode, How Many Prison Pen Pals Is Too Many.
Can a prison pen pal relationship become a friendship?
Absolutely. Many pen pals who correspond consistently for an extended period of time become friends. Some remain friends even after the incarcerated person is released. There's a special connection that can develop from exchanging heartfelt, authentic letters over a long period of time.
Can a prison pen pal relationship become romantic?
It can.
PenPals.Buzz is not a dating or romance site, but friendships between pen pals can become romantic just like other friendships can.
If two people write to each other for years, enjoy each other's company and develop an emotional connection, sometimes the relationship naturally develops into something more. We've had pen pals who have found love, gotten married, and even had children together after the incarcerated person was released.
Our founder actually met his wife through a prison pen pal site while he was incarcerated.
But we don't recommend going into penpalling with the sole goal of finding a romantic partner. If it happens naturally, that's great. Don't try to force it.
Writing to Your Pen Pal
What should I include in my first letter?
Keep it simple.
We recommend writing one or two pages on plain lined paper and telling your new pen pal a little about yourself — your age, interests, hobbies, what you do, or anything else you'd like to share as an introduction.
You can also tell them why you decided to write and ask them a few questions about themselves.
For your first letter, we'd recommend asking before sending photographs because each facility has different rules about them.
Be sure to include a return address or PO Box where they can write you back. If you're comfortable talking on the phone, you can also provide your phone number.
If you're interested in electronic messaging, you can ask your pen pal which messaging service they use and how to sign up.
What should you write about?
People often say that deciding what to write about is the hardest part — and sometimes it actually prevents people from ever starting. Don't overthink it.
Start by writing a few sentences about who you are and then tell them something about your day or your week. Don't worry that your everyday life sounds boring. Many incarcerated people genuinely enjoy hearing about ordinary things they can't experience themselves.
Tell them about the coffee you ordered, something funny that happened at work, a crazy driver you encountered, something you watched on television, or even the fact that you smashed your toe on the bedframe. Those little stories often give your pen pal something to respond to, and before you know it, the conversation starts flowing.
You can also ask about their life in prison. What kind of food do they serve in the chow hall? What's their favorite or least favorite meal? Do they make anything creative with commissary items? What's their cellmate like? Do they live in a cell or an open dorm? Do they get visits? What television channels do they have? What's a typical day like?
Then share stories about your own life, hobbies, jobs, interests and experiences. Try to let the letter flow naturally rather than making it feel like a job interview with a list of questions. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to add a little humor.
In the first few letters, though, don't get too personal. You don't need to share private information about your family, workplace or other personal matters until you've developed some trust.
What should I avoid talking about with a prison pen pal?
In your first letter, we'd recommend avoiding a few things.
Don't immediately ask what they did or why they did it. Don't write anything overly sexual, and don't talk about illegal activities you've participated in.
And here's something we see far too often: don't tell someone that they're better off in prison.
You may mean well when you say something like, "At least you don't have to worry about doing laundry or sitting in traffic every day," but that isn't likely to be received the way you intend.
Prison is not an easy life, and a person who is incarcerated doesn't need to be reminded that you have bills, traffic and laundry while they have a completely different set of problems.
Do I have to share my home address with a prison pen pal?
No. You don't have to share anything you're uncomfortable sharing.
However, if you're sending a postal letter, most prisons require some type of return address on the envelope.
If you don't want to use your home address, you can rent a PO Box or use a private or virtual mailbox service. Some people also use a work or church address.
Another option is electronic messaging. If you communicate through the inmate's approved messaging service, the inmate won't see your home mailing address, although they will generally see your name.
Use whatever option makes you comfortable.
Can I send photographs or other items in prison mail?
Usually, yes, but the rules vary considerably by state and facility.
Some facilities will send the original photograph to your pen pal. Others may send a color photocopy, while some require photographs to be submitted electronically.
Photo limits vary considerably by state and facility. Some allow several photos in an envelope, while others have much stricter limits. Many facilities require photos to be 4x6 or smaller. Polaroid-style photographs are typically not allowed.
We recommend asking your pen pal about the rules at their facility before sending photographs or other items.
What's not allowed?
Every prison and jail has its own rules, and those rules can change. Always check the current rules for the specific facility before sending anything.
We recommend:
- Including your full name and return address on your letter and envelope.
- Using plain white paper unless the facility says otherwise.
- Not including stickers, blank paper, envelopes, postage stamps or cash.
- Not including newspaper or magazine cutouts.
- Putting the inmate's name and inmate number on the back of all photographs.
- No nudity.
- No Polaroid-style photographs.
- Writers should be at least 18 years old.
- Not sending boxes of food, clothing, or any other types of gift items.
Mail & Prison Rules
How does prison mail work?
As of October 5, 2026, prison mail procedures vary considerably from state to state, and those policies can change.
Some states still allow you to send a letter directly to the facility where the inmate is incarcerated. California, Idaho, Oregon, Utah, and Washington are examples.
Other states have adopted mail-forwarding or mail-scanning systems.
For example, if you're writing to an inmate in New Jersey, mail is currently sent to a processing facility in Las Vegas, Nevada, where it is scanned and provided to the inmate electronically.
For New Mexico, mail is currently sent to a processing facility in Seminole, Florida.
Texas uses a centralized mailing address for inmate correspondence, rather than having you send the letter directly to the individual facility.
These systems can mean that your pen pal receives a scanned copy or photocopy of your letter rather than the original.
Always check the current Department of Corrections website for the state where your pen pal is incarcerated before sending mail. Prison mail policies can change, and the mailing instructions listed on the inmate's profile may also be helpful.
Once your pen pal receives your letter, they can write you back directly at your mailing address or PO Box.
How long does it take to receive a response?
Generally, you should expect a response within 10–30 days after mailing your letter.
If you haven't heard anything after 60 days, we'd suggest writing one more letter in case your first letter was lost or misplaced.
If you still don't hear anything after that, it may be time to assume that they aren't able or aren't interested in corresponding and look for another pen pal.
Mail sent to states where letters go directly to the inmate's facility can sometimes move more quickly.
Electronic Messaging
Can I communicate with a prison pen pal electronically?
Many inmates now have access to electronic messaging through a prison-approved messaging service.
As of October 5, 2026, Alaska and Utah are two states that do not offer messaging service for their prison inmates. Jail inmates may have different options.
The messaging service used by an inmate is listed on their PenPals.Buzz profile. Depending on the facility, services may include Securus, JPay, CorrLinks, GettingOut, SmartInmate, ConnectNetwork and others.
Generally, each inmate only is allowed to use the messaging service approved for their particular facility.
Electronic messaging is usually much faster than postal mail, although electronic messages may sometimes be delayed when they are flagged for review by the facility or messaging provider.
How much does electronic messaging cost?
Electronic messaging usually costs a small fee per message, depending on the service.
The exact price and rules vary by messaging provider and facility.
When Things Don't Go as Planned
Why haven't I received a response from my prison pen pal?
There could be many reasons.
It may simply take time. Your pen pal may have been transferred to another facility, may not have stamps or envelopes, or may temporarily be unable to receive or send mail.
They may also have decided not to continue the correspondence, or simply may not have felt a connection.
Our advice is to be patient. When you finally think it's been so long that there's no way you're going to receive a reply, wait another three weeks. Sometimes that letter finally shows up.
What happens if my prison pen pal is transferred to another facility?
The answer depends on the facility, the state's Department of Corrections and the particular mail procedures being used.
Mail is often forwarded for free to the new facility, but this doesn't always happen. Sometimes mail is returned to you with something like "NOT AT THIS FACILITY" written on the envelope.
Once you realize your pen pal has been relocated, we suggest writing a quick note to the new facility. Let your pen pal know that you sent something to the old address and ask them to watch for it or check with the mailroom.
And, of course, always use the current mailing address listed on their PenPals.Buzz profile once it has been updated.
What happens if my prison pen pal is released?
Mail will not be forwarded to someone who has been released from prison.
PenPals.Buzz keeps records of our profiles and will remove a released inmate from the website or, when appropriate, update their address until their profile expires.
If you write to someone on our site and receive the letter back marked "Released," please let us know.
Questions About PenPals.Buzz
How much does it cost?
There is no charge to search for or write to pen pals on PenPals.Buzz.
If you'd like to list a profile for an inmate, we offer several profile plans, starting at $45.
How do I list an inmate on PenPals.Buzz?
To create a profile for an incarcerated person, choose the profile plan you'd like and provide the inmate's information, photographs and written profile. Once we receive payment and the completed profile, we'll review and publish it on PenPals.Buzz.
If you're creating a profile for someone else, you don't have to be incarcerated yourself to purchase a profile for them.
How does the free first message work?
If you find an inmate you'd like to contact, you can use the "Send a message to this inmate" form on their profile. Your first message is free. PenPals.Buzz forwards the message to the inmate, so you don't have to pay for postage or an electronic messaging service just to introduce yourself.
Note: This service is only for the first message to a new pen pal. We will not forward free messages to existing friends, family members, or pen pals you have already been in communication with. PenPals.Buzz is not a substitute for snail mail or the inmate's approved messaging service.
How often does PenPals.Buzz forward messages to inmates?
PenPals.Buzz forwards messages twice a month, around the 6th and 20th of each month.
Messages submitted through our website are forwarded to the inmate both electronically and through postal mail, depending on the circumstances.
If no messages were submitted for you during that period, we don't send a notice telling you that you received no messages. The good news is that there's always another opportunity in about two weeks.
Keep in mind that pen pals may also write directly to you by postal mail or through an inmate messaging service.
How long will it take for an inmate's profile to appear on the website?
Once we receive payment and a completed profile, the profile will generally be published within 48 hours.
Orders placed online will usually be published on the next business day (and sometimes much sooner).
Can I make changes to an inmate's profile?
Yes.
There is an $8 fee for a photo change and a $12 fee for a profile change.
Address changes and changes to an inmate's electronic messaging service are always free.
If the profile was originally mailed directly to us by the inmate, change requests generally need to come directly from the inmate unless they have given us permission to allow someone else to make the changes.
Your Gold Plan allows for four photos. Do I have to add all of them at once?
No.
We understand that sometimes it's difficult to find all of the photos you'd like to use when creating a new profile. If you have additional photos you'd like to add, we'll allow you to send them to us for up to one week after the profile has been published.
After that one-week period, our normal $8 photo-change fee applies to each photo that is added.
If you want to remove a photo, however, there is no fee.
How can I change my inmate's mailing address?
Just email the new mailing address to help@penpals.buzz and we'll update it for you.
Address changes are always free of charge.
I can't remember my login and password. What should I do?
If you've lost your login information and the password-reset link isn't working, please email us. We'll create a new login and temporary password for you.
Please also let us know the inmate or inmates you have ordered or will be ordering profiles for, so we can make sure their profiles are connected to your account.
I ordered an add-on or upgrade. How do I know if you received it?
Add-ons and upgrades ordered online will receive an email confirmation immediately after purchase. If an add-on or upgrade is ordered by mail, we don't automatically send a confirmation by mail unless you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope with your order. This helps us keep the cost of add-ons and upgrades as affordable as possible.
I'm an inmate and I never received a copy of my profile. Was it sent?
Once we publish a profile on PenPals.Buzz, we send a welcome letter and a color printout of the new profile by postal mail on the following business day.
We don't send these to inmates in Florida or New York, due to restrictions in those states.
For everyone else, if you haven't received your copy, please understand that the profile printout may take considerably longer to arrive than you might expect. Sometimes the facility won't allow it to be delivered, and sometimes it can get lost after reaching a mail-scanning facility.
We recommend giving it about three weeks. If you still haven't received it, mail us a self-addressed, stamped envelope and we'll gladly send you another copy.
Can you send the pen pal who wrote to me a message and ask her to message me directly on my tablet?
Unfortunately, we can't forward messages back and forth between you and your pen pal. When someone sends you a message through PenPals.Buzz, the free-world pen pal automatically receives information explaining how to sign up directly for your approved messaging service, and we always encourage people to communicate directly through the appropriate messaging service or postal mail.
Sometimes a new pen pal doesn't include important information, such as their mailing address, in their first message. We try to collect as much contact information as the pen pal is willing to provide. Depending on what they choose to share, that may include a phone number, email address or postal mailing address.
How do I know if I have received any new messages?
PenPals.Buzz forwards messages twice a month, around the 6th and 20th.
If you don't receive any messages during one of those periods, it simply means that no messages came through our website for you during that particular period.
We don't send messages telling people that they received no messages.
And remember that a pen pal may have written you directly by postal mail or through your approved electronic messaging service, so not every letter or message will necessarily come through PenPals.Buzz.
We're not able to provide messages outside of our regular twice-monthly forwarding schedule.
My inmate hasn't received any new messages. Why not?
We make every effort to set your loved one up for success, but it's important to understand what PenPals.Buzz can and cannot control.
We're a company that publishes your loved one's profile and promotes it through search engines, social media, radio, television and other forms of advertising. We don't write to people directly on their behalf, and we can't control who decides to write, how many people write, what they decide to write, or whether they ultimately follow through.
Some profiles receive dozens of responses in their first month. Others receive only a few, or sometimes none.
When we identify a profile that isn't getting as much attention as we think it should, we will often make changes at no additional cost in an effort to improve its results. Sometimes that might mean replacing the profile photograph. Other times, something in the written profile may need to be adjusted.
Results can vary considerably based on things such as age, crime, photographs, the written profile and other factors.
If the profile was created less than 30 days ago, it may simply be too early to judge the results. Messages sent through our system are forwarded twice a month, and postal mail can take additional time to make its way through a facility's mail-processing system.
Potential pen pals may also have difficulty signing up for services such as Securus or JPay, even if they're still interested in writing.
Immediate results are always nice, but patience is important. We generally recommend giving a new profile at least two months before deciding that something isn't working.
For additional exposure, you can also consider options such as Featured Placement or Bump to the Top.
How do I remove an inmate's profile?
An inmate can contact us directly by writing a letter from their facility or by messaging us through their inmate messaging platform to request removal of their profile.
If you paid for the profile online and your email address matches the information we have on file, you can also request removal on the inmate's behalf.
What happens if I'm not happy with the results?
Results can vary widely depending on an inmate's age, crime, photographs, written profile and many other factors.
Because of that, we don't offer refunds.
However, please contact us if you're unhappy with the results. We'll always do our best to help.
Our goal is for everyone on our website to receive mail. When we think something about a profile could be improved, we'll do what we can to make it better.
Just remember that this isn't an instant-results service. We recommend giving a new profile at least two months before deciding that it isn't working.
How can I contact PenPals.Buzz?
If you have a question that isn't answered here, we're happy to help.
Email: help@penpals.buzz
Phone: 888-273-6725
You can also contact us about profile changes, mailing-address updates, messaging questions, account problems, or anything else related to using PenPals.Buzz.