When you love someone who is locked away, the world often sees you differently. I am willing to bet a few people have already misjudged your decision-making and maybe even your relationship with your incarcerated partner. People do not always understand the strength it takes to stay loyal, hopeful and loving through walls, bars and distance. They do not understand that behind those walls, there is an individual who made mistakes and is now paying his debt to society while looking for redemption. They do not understand that who you are is who you choose to be. Who you are is a person with a strong mindset, positive attitude and loving soul. Who you are is someone who does not judge others.
In my fifteen years behind the walls, I have learned that few things matter more than your attitude. How you handle what life throws at you helps define who you are. Your attitude is not just about how you feel on a hard day. Your attitude is not just the lens through which you see the world, and the way the world sees you. Your attitude is more than that. Your attitude is what shapes your life. It can be what fuels your relationship with your incarcerated loved one. It is the strength within your heart that keeps you mentally and physically strong within this journey you are on and that many find hard to understand. It is the foundation you stand on when everything else feels shaky.
Your attitude is your core. Your attitude is the collection of your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and judgments. It is how you see yourself. It is how you see that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It is how you want to live your life. How you see the future.
Now, let us get a little deeper into the subject of what a positive attitude is. A positive attitude does not mean pretending everything is perfect either — a positive attitude means believing that even broken things can still be beautiful. Life in general is a lesson. Each day we can learn something new. This is where your mind becomes your atmosphere.
Like the climate around your soul, it either helps you grow or makes it harder to breathe. It all depends on who you choose to become. That is why your attitude is not just a part of who you are — it is you.
You cannot control what the world says. You cannot control the prison gates, or the waiting, or the slow letters. But you can control the way you stand through it all. That is how that valuable choice — your mindset in the moments that hurt the most — becomes your power. Becomes your strength.
Your attitude is everything. It is your behavior. It is how you show up every day, even when nobody is watching. It is your relationships. It creates the energy on how you love, forgive and stay connected with your loved ones. It is your resilience. Whether you give up, or keep holding on. It is your vision. Whether you still dream, even when life tries to make you small. It is your peace of mind. Whether you let love or fear control your heart.
A good attitude will not erase the hard days. Do not get me wrong. But it will make the hard days meaningful. It will turn waiting into growing. It will turn loyalty into family.Choosing your attitude shapes your life. Choosing to have a positive attitude daily opens the door to learn what it is to rise instead of sink. To hope instead of hate. To build instead of break.
Your attitude is the fingerprint you leave on every heart you touch, including your loved ones behind that gate. It is what keeps your relationship alive even when distance tries to kill it. But most of all, your attitude is what creates the future you dream of — not just for yourself, but for the family you are fighting for. You are more powerful than you know.
And it all starts inside of you.
About the author: Luis Paz is a lifetime member of PenPals.Buzz. He’s incarcerated in Tennessee, and enjoys journaling, reflecting on life, and pushing himself forward. Write to him at: Luis Paz #526750, Hardeman County Correctional Facility, 2520 Union Springs Road, Whiteville, TN 38075. Or check him out on Instagram at barsandredemption
