I’ll always have the memories of my childhood, growing up in St. Paul, Minnesota, with my collie dog, and moving to Arizona at the age of 10. I remember my family telling me stories of my Austrian and Swedish heritage. I enjoyed my time attending Northern Arizona University, where I graduated in 1972 with a B.S. in English and then went on to get my Master’s Degree in 1973.

I taught English and Humanities at Mesa Community College, Yavapai College, and Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University prior to my incarceration in 1981 for a crime of passion.

Now I’ve spent more than half of my life inside of prison. I even died once…well, kind of. I suffered a near-fatal heart attack just a couple of years ago. My heart completely stopped beating, and I stopped breathing. Somehow, quite miraculously, I survived and am happy to say I’ve made a full recovery.

I’ve been in prison now for over 40 years, and I’ve made the most of it. I had the privilege of participating in an in-prison writing workshop, where I learned a myriad of poetry-writing techniques under Dr. Richard Shelton. Today, my poems have been published in Inner Voices, Walking Rain Review, Fortune News, Correction(s): A Literary Journal, The Mennonite, PEN America: A Journal for Writers and Readers, Rettle: Poetry for the 21st Century, Green Hills Literary Lantern, Rain Shadow Review, and Orion. I was awarded first place for poetry in the 2003 PEN Prison Writing Awards.

I earned a Master of Ministry in Christian Counseling degree from International Seminary, graduating Magna Cum Laude in 1999, and will be ordained upon my release. My Christian faith has sustained me during the last 43 years. I am now eligible for release from prison and appear before the Arizona Board of Executive Clemency twice a year.

I’m a young 73 and still looking for the great love of my life. I know you are out there somewhere. I have so much love in my heart. It’s been locked away for 43 years, mellowing and ripening with time. Are you in Austria, Sweden, Norway, Denmark Finland, Canada, Minnesota? Surely God has saved the very best for last. I’m waiting for you, waiting for my release from prison, waiting to find you, waiting for your love to fill my heart. Scandia, our time has come at last. I’m waiting to spend the rest of my life with you, waiting to make our dreams come true. I hope to hear from you soon.

REUNION

For as long as I can remember
I’ve been an outsider
a stranger in my own heart
caught between the way it could have been
and the way it was.

You must have sensed me
thinking of you
in the birch trees on the mountain.
Or did you remember me
dreaming out your window
in the rain?

A hummingbird hovers
on the blossoms
of a giant saguaro
feasting on nectar.

You must have found me
thirsting in the desert
huddled under a paloverde.
Or did you hear me
weeping at the grave
beneath a cloudless sky?

When day becomes night
and we are held
in the twilight of not knowing
if it’s dusk or dawn
our dreams become real
in a half-lit room where
shadows chase each
other around the walls.

A pair of white-winged doves
build their next on the chain link fence
that separates the prison